In response to Cait Flanders' call for a year of less, I find myself initiating something that goes beyond a shopping ban; I’m taking an intentional stride towards purpose and financial responsibility. The shopping ban represents my commitment to transformation because a major reason I am endeavoring toward LESS is that I am carrying much more debt than is comfortable for me.
I’ll need financial resilience in my pursuit of a debt-free life marked by simplicity, authenticity, and self-acceptance. As I work through these internal struggles and write these posts, I’m on a journey of self-discovery. The destination is a life where time, relationships, and purpose replace the consumerist goals we’ve all been handed.
I want a life worth something, even if it’s not “worth” much.
At the back of her book The Year of Less, author Cait Flanders offers these words first to anyone who was inspired by her book to take on a shopping ban:
Before you get started, I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about one thing: the reason you want to take on a challenge such as this in the first place. Some people call this their “why.” It might be the same reason you do anything in life, or it could be very specific to this challenge. If you need help determining your why, consider where you’re at in your life’s journey so far and ask yourself these questions. What do you want right now? What do you want to get out of this life? What mark do you want to leave on the world? And why?
- Cait Flanders in The Year of Less (2018)
My “why” is mysteriously aligned with another piece of the author’s life, before she took on the shopping ban she was blogging her way through aggressive paydown of her credit card debt. For my part, the shopping ban is one means to this end; the less I spend, the less likely I am to continue taking on new debt. I am uncomfortable with the amount of debt I am carrying, and I want it to be significantly, dramatically less.
What has been hard for me about reckoning with my debt is twofold:
The first is that, although I am sometimes embarrassed to admit it, I have struggled to remain gainfully employed throughout my life. It isn’t because I’m not competent, I regularly become a top employee in whatever positions I take on. I learn quickly, I am versatile, and I enjoy the challenge of a complex role.
I simply can’t seem to work sustainably for more than 1-2 years before burning out. And I don’t mean that my interest falls off after two years, or my performance drops; on at least one occasion in my life I have burnt out to such an extent that I was unable to work at all for more than a year. I almost feel that the word burnout is a little overplayed; I melt down. I shut off. I physically can’t keep going anymore. It’s a source of frustration and pain for me, and because I know that the main way people get out of debt is by making consistent money, this feels like an especially large obstacle.
The second difficulty in reckoning with my debt is that with few exceptions, my debt is not a result of luxury or overindulgence. I have tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt from paying for the seemingly basic things: food, energy bills, phone and internet, doctor’s visits, gas for my car. I hardly ever shop for clothing and always secondhand, fully half of my furniture was free on the side of the road, and the other half came from thrift stores. I even gave up my (moderately) expensive hobby of collecting Pokémon cards in 2020. I own very few things and want for even fewer.
In addition to surviving, my debt is also a result of travel from Canada to Colorado, and back (two of my immediate family members have had weddings in the last 5 years). I want to talk more about my relationship with this travel to Canada in future blog posts, but for now I mention it because it is EXPENSIVE, and has not felt optional (for my sanity). There are other one-off things here and there, but mostly, I just haven’t been able to find a way to live that I can properly afford.
Why a shopping ban?
The truth is, I am not a big shopper to begin with. My friends and family would tell you I am among the most frugal people they know. Even as “not a big shopper,” we live in a society that is designed to hack our brain’s dopamine centers and persuade us to spend what money we do (or don’t) have on things that are promised to bring us joy. I go to the store quite often to pick up food and other household necessities, and before the shopping ban, I don’t think I’d ever had the experience of leaving a store with ONLY the things I’d decided to buy before arriving.
A shopping ban appeals to me because it is a part of my greater efforts at reducing. Going from “I rarely shop,” to “I do not shop,” is a measurable and tangible step that I can take toward getting my debt under control. The experience of going into a megastore and leaving with only the five items I neatly printed on a piece of paper before arriving feels like a revolution. My nervous system spends the entire trip fending off a veritable barrage of advertising and design. It is only with real intention that the feat is even possible. Careless spending becomes the default.
When we aren’t paying attention, in this country, we’re paying for it.
Assuming that making more money is not an option, as I am not currently able to work more, I have to look at other options to reduce my debt. I have to find a way to live on what I DO make, and this is a massive driving force in my pursuit of LESS. It lead me to move two hours away from my family to a town I had never been to, all for a shot at an affordable way of living.
I acknowledge the way this is a layered issue, and even though there is privilege in the fact that I was able to make the move, it also represented sacrifice for me. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make, though, because I am serious about finding a way out of the financial situation I am in. “Do more,” is not an option for me, so I have chosen “live where I can pay less for housing,” and now I have further chosen, “give up shopping completely.”
I doubt these are the last sacrifices I will need to make to achieve my goals.
And what are my goals? My wildest dream is be completely debt free, and when that goal seems too far away to feel motivating, I focus on the pennies that will get me there.
Track all debt balances, payments, interest rates and fees, endeavor to know exactly what you owe and what you’re paying for each month
Say “no” to trips and expenses you can’t afford, be willing to sit in the discomfort of not being able to afford it rather than being tempted to “enjoy now, pay later" and then celebrate that win with yourself
Stop using all credit cards while continuing to make at least the minimum payments, in order to ensure that debt stops increasing month over month
Build a 1-month savings buffer
Pick the card with the smallest balance and put anything “extra” you have toward that balance until you’ve paid off a card
Build a 2-month savings buffer
Commit at least half of any windfalls to debt reduction
Reduce the number of credit cards I have
Pay down my highest-interest credit card
Financially I have a long road ahead of me, but luckily the actions I am taking are aligned with my values and I know I will get there, because I want it. I need it. I desperately ache for my life to be slow, peaceful, unhurried, with no demands for how my money, or time, is spent. There is not much I wouldn’t be willing to part with to attain this outcome.
Cait Flanders suggests the following questions for further consideration into your “why.”
What do you want right now?
Right now, I want to get sleepy when the sun goes down, and wake up naturally when my body is rested. I want to derive my energy for the day from a good night’s sleep, a diet rich with whole foods, and the pursuit of my authentic joys. I want to derive enjoyment from stimulating conversations, intuitive movement, and challenges that take me to the edges of my capacities. I want to play my guitar often, listen to records by candlelight in the evenings, and read as many of the books in my library as I can before I die.
Right now, I want the exact life I have—I just also want to be able to afford it.
What do you want to get out of this life?
I want to get as much time with my Loved ones as I can manage out of this life. I want to have meaningful, perspective-altering experiences all over the world. I want to eat delicious foods, breathe my poetry into being, write songs and sing them at the top of my lungs. I want to live in a small, quirky house in the woods, somewhere near the water, and raise children who are curious, kind and bold. I want to say the things I think are important as loudly as I can, to anyone who will listen. I want to spend the vast majority of my time on the things that truly matter in life—friends, family, community, food, joy, fun, laughter, collaboration, service, meaning, purpose—by letting go of the things that take up their space—material objects, extravagance, competition, extrinsic factors, pollution, waste, greed.
What mark do you want to leave on the world? And why?
The mark I want to leave on the world is one of profound, radical self-acceptance and authenticity, and of life-changing, earth-shattering reverence and adoration for the people you Love. It is my hope that in my sphere of influence, others find themselves kinder, more gentle, and more willing to meet themselves with acceptance, while recognizing the place that their important relationships deserve in their lives. I want to lift up the improbable stillness of deeply knowing and accepting one’s self, and let it pale in comparison to the unbearably beautiful gift of deeply knowing and Loving one another. Why? Because I can think of nothing else in the universe worth having.
As I navigate my internal struggles and share the things I unearth, I invite you to consider your own "why." Not just for a shopping ban, but for anything you do. Reflect on the transformative power of intentional choices in crafting a life that aligns with your values. What existence could await you if you, too, were to embark on a journey of unwavering commitment to what truly matters in your life?
Photo by Ehud Neuhaus on Unsplash